A person who is thinking about suicide will usually give clues or signs to those around them that indicate that they are distressed. If you are reading this section, it is very likely that you have already noticed changes in the behaviour of the person you are concerned about.
The following is a list of signals that people might give when they are feeling distressed and overwhelmed, to communicate their distress to others. These signs are indicators that a person might be thinking about suicide. Some of these signs are stronger indicators that a person may be thinking about suicide – these indicators have been bolded. It is more likely that a suicidal person will display a combination of these signs rather than a single sign.
Observable signs (physical changes and behaviours)
Physical changes
- Loss of interest and pleasure in all things
- Loss of physical energy
- Loss of interest in personal hygiene or appearance
- Major changes to sleeping patterns – too much or too little.
- Loss of interest in sex
- Sudden and extreme changes in eating habits – either loss of appetite or increase in appetite. Losing or gaining weight.
- Increase in minor illnesses
Behaviours
- Unexplained crying
- Emotional outbursts
- Alcohol or drug misuse
- Uncharacteristic risk-taking or recklessness (for example, driving recklessly).
- Fighting and/or breaking the law
- Withdrawal
- Quitting activities that were previously important
- Prior suicidal behaviour
- Self-harming
- Putting one's affairs in order
- Giving away possessions, especially those that have special significance for the person
- Organising or talking about making a will.
- Writing suicide note/goodbye letters to people.
Conversational signs
Thought Example(s)
- Escape – "I can't take this anymore"
- No future – "What's the point? Things are never going to get any better"
- Guilt – "It's all my fault, I'm to blame"
- Alone – "I'm on my own … no-one cares about me"
- Damaged – "I've been irreparably damaged… I'll never be the same again"
- Helpless – "Nothing I do makes a bit of difference", "It's beyond my control", "Things just happen to me"
- Preoccupied
- Talking about suicide or death
- Planning for suicide
Feelings
- Desperate
- Sad
- Angry
- Apathy
- Ashamed
- Worthless
- Powerless
- Lonely/Isolated
- Disconnected
- Hopeless
If you notice any of these changes in the thoughts, feelings or behaviour of the person you are concerned about, it is important to ask the person whether he/she has been thinking about suicide. Sometimes people are worried that they might 'put the idea of suicide into the person's head' if they ask about suicide. This is not the case — by asking, you will either confirm your hunch or the person will tell you that he/she isn't suicidal. See What Can I Do To Help?
Special note: depression
In some circumstances, a person who is coming out of an episode of depression might have an intention to suicide. This person might have been thinking about it constantly whilst depressed but not had the energy to act on their plans due to the lack of energy that is characteristic of depression. As the person's energy levels improve and he/she becomes more active, he/she might have enough energy to now act on what they had been planning.
It is therefore important for carers and friends to continue to be observant and watch for other signs that might be indicators of distress or thinking about suicide.